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Don’t Allow Your Grief to Stop Your Writing

Don’t Allow Your Grief to Stop Your Writing is a follow-up to my blog When Life Gets in the Way pt. 1. That blog was written as Tess and I faced her illness together, but this blog is written after her death.

Then I had hope and believed she was getting better, but now I am facing grief at her loss. She is in Heaven, but I am left behind to deal with my grief. Perhaps you are dealing with grief. It is my prayer that this blog will help you.

Don’t Allow Your Grief to have Leeway.

Tess passed away on February 19, 2023. It was the very Sunday morning she had been looking forward to for weeks. Tri-City Baptist Church would be holding services once again in its own sanctuary.

But that Sunday morning sometime before 7 am she breathed her last and was ushered into Heaven. I am so thankful that the last words she ever said to me were “I love you.” And the last words I spoke to her were, “I love you.”

Grief took place immediately. Grief is not to be avoided. It is alright to cry, and I did several times as I waited for people to arrive. But it is also important to not let grief have leeway in your life.

God sent me help in the form of family, friends, and the Christian community. That helped and if you, a born again believer in Jesus Christ, are facing grief, He will you help as well. Seize it and don’t let grief have the upper hand.

More on the other side of this break.

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Now back to the article.

Don’t Allow Your Grief to Wear You Down.

I discovered that in spite of all the love, and care I was getting, that I was already grieving. I already mentioned I cried. Another thing I have done is allowed myself to talk about her death. It has been therapeutic, and kept me from getting despondent.

I thought I was doing fine, but I began noticing I was getting tired every day. More than usual. Part of it was taking over chores that Tess had performed and combining them with chores I was already doing. But I had help to do some of the hard things. In fact, that help came in a variety of ways and I thought I was going to escape grief.

So, I dived into the work that needed to be done. I began making changes in the apartment, my shopping routine, and other necessary adjustments. But tiredness struck and began dragging me down. I noticed in the last few days that I  was getting very sleepy. As time slipped by, I wondered if I was tired because of the hard work, or because of grief.

God led me to an article that dealt with that very subject. Yes, grief can lead to lethargy and a lack of energy. And it gave pointers on how to fight it. I believe in getting daily exercise, but I had let it slip away.

I pushed my chair away, stood, got my hat, and followed the advice to go for a walk. It was refreshing! And about ten minutes later I was back at my desk writing this blog.

Don’t Allow Your Grief to Stop Your Writing.

I had a ton of excuses for not writing. Until a few minutes ago, I was suffering from being tired, had an apartment to reorganize, people to contact, and a memorial to organize. But the truth was that I was allowing grief to stop me from writing. Since Tess had gone into the hospital my writing had slowed down and, after her death, it had virtually stopped.

But that is a mistake. Don’t let that happen. If God called you to write, He did so while knowing full well that this day would come. And He had already planned for how you, or in this case I, should act. I have walked with God for 49 years and I knew He had called me to write. And He had called me knowing that I would lose Tess now!

I am now back writing this blog and ready to get back to work on other writings. I thank God for sending people into my life to help me through this episode. There may be times in the future when grief will bring tears again to my eyes. That is ok with me, but I won’t let the grief define me.

God called me to write books so that “…when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shown thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.” (Psalm 71:18) The call is as real today as it was then so many years ago. Tess’s home-going was unexpected, but it reminds me that He is not done with me yet. Nor is He done with you!


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T&R Independent Bookstore is a division of T&R Independent Books founded in 2014 by R. Frederick and Tess Riddle. TR Ministry, aka Ministry Services, is both a charge and an exciting outreach to the Christian Community.

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